About 5 years ago my mom was officially diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease and it has been a rollercoaster ride for everyone involved.

We took her to a neurologist who administered a few assessments consisting of questions that measure mental ability. She also received an MRI which confirmed the presence of amyloid plaques, a telltale sign of Alzheimer’s.

At the time, I was living with my parents and my mom would forget a few trivial things but seemed fine overall. I remember getting annoyed because she would stand in my room staring at me and say “I just came in to look at you.”

What I would give to have her do that now. What I would give to hear her laugh, feel her warm hugs, bask in her positivity, and eat her homemade nalesniki (cheese crepes). Especially now that I am pregnant and it feels like I need her more than ever.

It went from forgetting what happened that day to forgetting who I was, to constantly packing a bag and asking to go “home” (even though she was in the home she had been living in for 15 years), to getting lost outside for hours, to needing a diaper, to becoming bedridden, to hitting/spitting/yelling, to being almost completely non responsive.

Every new stage was worse than the one before and I wish I would have appreciated the time I had with her when she could still respond to me, even if her responses were jibberish.

As a nurse, it is one of the worst diseases that I have ever encountered and as a caregiver it is one of the most challenging situations that I have ever risen above. Every day is a test and a fight, but it will make you more powerful. At least that is the way I would want my mom to see me reflect upon it. It comforts me to think of how proud she would be to see the great care we give her at home with us.

I am here to tell you that the journey after diagnosis will be difficult and it will test your limits, but try to enjoy the time you have with your loved one and cherish the little moments.

Find a support group. Facebook has some wonderful options. Just type “Alzheimers Support” into the search bar. I learned so much in these groups and I use them for an emotional outlet too. No one will understand what you are going through as well as someone who is also sharing a similar experience. This has relieved a lot of my stress.

Feel free to call the Alzheimer’s Association if you need to. They have many resources for families and can provide emotional comfort. Their website also has many articles about how to deal with the disease for those who have been diagnosed and their families.

Do your research about care and finances. Consulting an elder care attorney may be helpful. Set up a Power of Attorney ASAP to get financial and medical affairs in order. Contact your local department of aging. I was able to qualify my mom for caregiver hours through my local county without having to pay for them.

Call upon the help of friends and family. Don’t feel bad about asking for help. It may surprise you how willing people are to lend a hand.

Most importantly, make your own mental health a priority. Try to develop a strong support system for yourself. Cry or yell it out if you have to. I have definitely yelled and cried into a pillow before. Treat yourself to something you love. Take a warm bath. Try to stay active. It will be a trying experience and you must remember to take it easy on yourself. There will be good days and bad days, but you can do this.

I am here for you and will support you every step of the way. You are powerful and this hardship will only make you stronger!

And to those who have loved ones in good health, never leave an “I love you” unsaid. Seize every day by the balls and relish the beauty of your life and this planet. Be grateful for all you have. Do not take your parents for granted because no one will ever love you as fiercely as they do. If I have learned one thing through this, it is that we must honor those we love every day and savor their existence because our time with them is never promised.